The Consolidated Couple Stage

The Consolidated Couple Stage

Living together over the years, couples accommodate countless changes. With children, there are the stages of childhood, adolescence, and child-rearing—years during which the marital relationship often takes a backseat to family responsibilities. During this time, the desire to be together is less imperative, and each spouse may become more involved with separate interests. (θεραπεια ζευγους)

Lack of intimacy and/or sexual desire can increase parenting difficulties and stress a couple's relationship. Monotony, or the risk of emotional distancing, can create insecurity. Other external tensions can also emerge through the involvement of third parties or families of origin.

The Mature Couple Stage

As time goes by, the children grow up and become independent; then the couple is left to themselves again. Again, new changes need to be adapted to, like retirement, or the addition of in-laws and grandchildren into the family circle.

The "empty nest" and the departure of children can also be difficult at this stage. Retirement may change each partner's role in the relationship as well as bring new routines, expectations, and ways of organizing daily life.

Although such troubles often occur predictably at identifiable stages, they may appear at any time. Moreover, life adversities such as illness, death, and financial troubles may impinge upon the couple at any moment.

Adultery

Infidelity is among the most common reasons couples seek counseling. It is a very complex issue, as it touches upon trust, which is the basis of any relationship.

In such a situation, one partner is usually hurt and angry or deeply disappointed, while the other is perceived as responsible or at fault.

It often happens that one partner proposes therapy to the other, sometimes apprehensive or uncertain about speaking with a psychologist. It is quite normal to feel apprehensive starting joint therapy, which is a reflection of how much the relationship means to both people.

During sessions, partners may need to vent emotions. The therapist will remain neutral and empathetic but will never act as a judge or determine who is "right" or "wrong."

The psychologist does not impose personal opinions on what the couple “should do.” While many are concerned that therapy will inevitably lead to a separation, the therapist is there to assist, not decide.

Frequent Arguments

Another common reason couples seek therapy is constant arguing. When disagreements become daily or routine, both partners often feel misunderstood and believe their perspective is the correct one.

By the time they go to therapy, the argument cycle has typically been ongoing for a while, which leads to exhaustion, emotional distancing, or disappointment.

First, most couples try to solve these problems by themselves. When solutions don't work, therapy becomes the most valuable and often necessary option.

The Cycle of Circular Communication

For a deeper understanding, consider the couple in which one partner frequently criticizes and the other withdraws emotionally.

Each person sees the problem as being caused directly by the other person's behavior.

“If you didn’t criticize me so much, I wouldn’t shut down.”
"If you expressed yourself more, I wouldn't interfere so much."

Both parties locate the origin of the conflict at different times. In fact, however, each person’s response is caused by the other's action, establishing a self-sustaining communication cycle. Each event becomes part of a repetitive cycle. These cycles can't be broken unless the couple steps outside of the loop—meaning they have to learn to talk about how they're communicating, not what they're communicating. In doing so, patterns can change and healthier conversations emerge. https://smaroulakyriazidi.com/psychodynamiki-therapeia